How to Be an Efficient Listener

By Hal Neff


Efficient interaction is one of the secrets to success, and once you're good at it, people notice.

Most people believe that strengthening communication skills includes creating persuasive speech and conversational abilities, but what you might not understand is just how important efficient listening can be.

Without an efficient listener, none of your conversational skills will matter. This is because your own points - no matter how clear - still wouldn't be heard or understood.

Keep in mind that listening is a full fifty percent of the interaction effort so it's well worth your time to develop this precious skill, too.

Here are a few methods you may use to develop your listening abilities:

1 . Beat the urge to talk. Sometimes when you are engaged in a heated conversation, you start to concentrate on what you're going to say next. You may even be tempted to open up your mouth before the other person is finished. Try to make the extra effort to keep your lips closed until they are done talking.

* While they are talking, do not worry about what you are going to say or how you are going to say it. Instead, concentrate on the words and body language of the other individual.

2 . Look interested. Your own nonverbal interaction skills are crucial while you're listening. If you are looking disinterested and uncaring, the person attempting to talk with you will likely pick up on these subtle hints. They might be upset or less likely to show their views. Makes sense, right?

* Engage with the person speaking. Make eye contact and nod your head or smile. Let your conversation partner know that their points are coming across to you.

3. Repeat the highlights. One method to literally tell your discussion partner that they are efficiently conversing is to simply restate their ideas. You can repeat key phrases in an affirming tone. You can even give them a quick summary of what they just said in your own words.

* Avoid sharing your opinions when repeating their concepts or ideas. At this point, you simply want to convey that you've fully understood their meaning.

4. Ask questions. Do not be scared to ask your discussion partner to elaborate on what they're saying. If you want further information, then ask for it. The important thing is that you understand what they are trying to get across.

5. Have patience. It's also important to maintain patience, particularly when dealing with individuals who might be shy or may not have the ability to communicate well. If you're not patient, you might end the discussion prematurely or scare off your conversation partner.

6. Follow your partner's lead. Being an efficient listener does not mean that your only job is to listen. You can certainly add to the conversation, too. At the same time, you don't want to overpower the conversation. Add your input when they ask for it or when they have finished their point.

Keep in mind that practice makes perfect. After you've had an important conversation, ask yourself what you remember from the conversation. Take note of the details if possible. Did you enable the other person to do most of the talking?

If you fight the urge to dominate conversations, you will be able to truly hear what people have to say!




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