What You Should Know About Couples Conflict Solution

By Virginia Turner


Most people who are in a relationship experience conflict from time to time. Married people can get into disagreements because of their different backgrounds, personalities and expectations. It is common for couples to argue, disagree or bicker over certain issues regularly. Some conflicts have the potential to ruin a relationship. Therefore, you need to know how to solve such conflicts. By learning about the strategies for couples conflict solution, you will be able to preserve and protect your relationship.

Conflict can start when married people are planning to make a major change in their lives. One of the spouses may respond in a hostile manner after the other one states his or her case. Examples of hostile responses include yelling, tuning out completely or talking over the other person. During the first stages of resolving conflicts, the process a couple uses is more vital than the words uttered. Married people can disagree in a manner that cannot ruin their relationship if they develop good listening skills.

It is important to let your partner share his or her concerns, frustrations or worries. Provide your spouse with the opportunity to share his or her feelings in a safe manner, without the fear of being ridiculed with cutting remarks. This way, your spouse will be more open and willing to hear what you have to say.

It is also important to talk about your feelings without blaming your spouse. If you make statements, which assault the character of your spouse directly, they can damage your relationship. For example, if your partner is jealous, avoid saying that he or she is irrational. The right way to talk about this issue is telling your partner that you feel irritated whenever he or she states that you are flirting with another person during an innocent conversation. Although this strategy is direct, it will not impugn on the character of your spouse.

As they address a problem, married people should not make generalizations about their partner, such as saying that he or she always or never does something. These words can make a person defensive. He or she may come up with several examples showing why the statements of his or her partner are false. To resolve an issue, married people should try to create a discussion about how their spouse can become more helpful or attentive.

In order to have a constructive discussion, it is important to stick to an issue at a time. When you are unhappy, you are likely to drag several topics into one discussion. When you are planning to solve personal problems, this is not the correct strategy to use. When you raise many complaints at once, it is less likely that you will get any of them fully solved.

If your spouse criticizes you, you should not object to the complaints he or she makes. You cannot solve problems if you are defensive. It is better to listen to your spouse and consider what he or she is saying.

Another effective way to handle conflict in a relationship is consulting with a counselor. Couples can discuss their problems with the professional. Counseling can assist couples to express their emotions and desires in a safe and respectful environment. By undergoing counseling, married people can also deal with the hurtful feelings caused by unfaithfulness, bereavement or emotional neglect. Counselors work with their clients to help them build more meaning and intimate relationships.




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