Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem

By Sharida Kuiken


Not many people are aware of how much impact low self esteem can have on a person's life. Having low self worth can greatly decrease the quality of your life in general--it can stop you from building healthy and happy relationships; it can rob you of a stable and fulfilling career and can put you at risk of developing behavioral and mental illnesses. I personally have experienced some of these consequences; in fact, they were what made me decide to look for a way to improve my self esteem.

Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice...Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Don't reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.

Next time you meet somebody new look out for these behaviors. Put a mental checkmark on the each of the 10 tips and see how well this person scored. Chances are that the person scored very high if you tent to like her/him. On the contraire the person probably scored low if you don't seem to connect.The more you practice the more likely you will create a positive aura which is commonly known as charisma. To step up to become a charismatic personality it takes more than just these 10 tips.Creating a positive aura will benefit you in every thing you do. You will create a warmer ambience with your family. You will be more successful in your career. Even while trying to meet a partner of the opposite sex you will notice a difference on how people perceive you.

Make a list of at least five good qualities and remind yourself of them daily, but especially when you're having a bad day.Don't dwell on your past mistakes.Recognise that the mistake does not define who you are. You can fail an exam without being a failure. Your relationship might have gone off in the ditch but that does not mean you are a failure.Keep things in perspective. It just means that you failed the exam or that the relationship failed. Surround yourself with supportive people.The last thing you need when you feel down or less-than-fabulous is to be surrounded by naysayers and negative people telling you that "all men suck" or "it's impossible to get that job you're after".Choose carefully who you share your heart with and surround yourself with people who will encourage and motivate people. If you don't have many of those in your life, then contact me and I will be your cheerleader!

Keep learning new skills.Aside from keeping your mind sharp (and preventing Alzheimer's), be a life-long learner. I'm not necessarily talking about formal education.What's stopping you from learning a new language, taking a dance class, learning some new computer skills, taking up blogging, etc. Learning will improve your confidence by leaps and bounds.Take the time to reach out to other people through community programmes, etc.If ever you feel down, there's no better upper than helping other people. Volunteer your services at a children's orphanage or an old aged home.My challenge to you is this - next time you eat out at a restaurant, instead of sending half your meal back to the kitchen, get a doggie bag and give it to the beggar on the nearest corner. His appreciation will melt the hardest of hearts.Learn to stand up for yourself.Your soul dies a tiny little bit every time you keep quiet when you should speak up for yourself. Being a doormat is not attractive and will get you nowhere in the long run.If haven't had much practice before, start with small things. Insist on low-fat milk in your coffee. Return the milk that went sour before the due date. Write a letter of complain if you get bad customer service. And only when you're feeling more confident, then tackle bigger issues like speaking to your boss about overloading you with work or your friends about relationship issues.

Rewards are great at any age. The last thing I asked of a man, was to come tighten the lug nuts after I changed a tire. Do you think after he came to do this in the middle of his workday that I planned something special for him? You better believe it! He needs to know that he is appreciated. Sincerely telling him is one ay, but it's also nice to do things for him as well. And this does not mean going all out. It could be as simple as a special dinner that is planned with his preferences in mind. This is simple enough that it could be done for a friend or your man.Treating a man special is something that is too often overlooked but is such a great tool. Many men will say that this is not their thing, but a spa day is such a great gift. The massage, the facial, the mani/pedi can all be tailored for the manly man (in my immaturity - I still laugh at the clear polish on the nails though). In today's tougher economic time, it may not be as easy to afford the day at the spa, but providing all the services for him at home may work just as well.Game day preparations are also a big hit for the sports aficionado. Whether you get everything ready and leave after you get his boys to come over, or it's a party for two (if you're WATCHING The game too); when you plan it with him in mind he will feel it.

When given a compliment you then responds with "thank you very much." Many times when someone congratulate or compliment us on something, the response is always "it is nothing" or "Anyone could have done." When you reject a compliment what you are doing is discrediting yourself. Stop deducting the positive things as if they do not exist (or use a negative filter).Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. Grab an index card or a paper and write down positive affirmations such as "I accept and love myself" or "I am a valuable person with much to contribute and deserves the best like the others. " Take it with you everywhere and at all times.Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, especially in the morning when you wake up and at night before bed. When you repeat the affirmation enjoy positive feelings and feel good about yourself.Take advantage of workshops, books and any other program on self-esteem. Any material you can come to understand and master that will affect your daily behavior.

Looks are important too. Just as a woman likes to hear that she's beautiful when she gets all dolled up, and man will enjoy that too. Men also put forth the effort to smell nice, so when he does smell nice that should also be complimented. Smiles, teeth, eyes and whatever else comes up are also good targets for compliments as well. The catch to making the most impact with a compliment is to lead with it. When a person compliments you first, there is that rule of politeness that you feel the need to return it. No matter how genuine the returned compliment, sometimes it can feel less than heartfelt or you run the risk of the person thinking that you were just returning their compliment. When you lead with a compliment, there is not as much wiggle room for the interpretation of your intent It's a compliment.

Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.

Contribute and help. Start sharing your time and skills with people around you that may be in need. When you do good things for others then you feel useful, valued and good about yourself. This will inevitably raise your mood and increase your self esteem. Search your community on how to make a positive impact.Get involved in work and activities that appeal to you. It's hard to feel good about yourself if the days were spent in a job that you hate. Self-esteem flourishes when you take our time on activities that you truly enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Even if you can not change work right now, you can still devote leisure time activities and hobbies that stimulate you and you really enjoy.Be honest with yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You will never have respect for yourself if you do not live life the way you want and deserve. If you're making decisions to fit well to other people then you're not being honest with yourself and your self-esteem ends up suffering.Hands up! You will not be able to improve self-esteem if you avoid the challenges of life and the view from afar. If you do not take action for fear or anxiety then you will frustratingly live with self-doubt that will lower their self-esteem




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