Tips In Avoiding Codependency Relationships

By Karyn Shields


It is not a good thing for people to become codependents. Not only are they bound to suffer, they will also make their partner unhappy. Codependents stay in a relationship and give something to it while expecting something in return. If this codependency mindset is what you have when you are in a relationship, that will surely ruin you.

If you do not want to cause grief to your partner, then you have to make sure that you do not turn yourself or your partner into a codependent. It will be good for you if you can take advantage of a few tricks so that you can avoid turning the situation into something like that. To avoid such situations, here are tips you can take advantage of.

First, you better get yourself proper counseling. This is so that you can become healthy. You will be unable to indulge in a healthy relationship if you are unwell personally. Thus, you better aim to become healthy before you aim to improve your relationship. The latter will actually improve once you improve yourself.

Do not try to quantify the love you have provided your partner. If you can, you should give everything you have to your partner without expecting to get anything in return. Of course, you should not neglect the relationships you have with other people. That is the healthy way for you to be in a relationship with another.

It will be good for you if you can address your pain. You cannot avoid situations where you will feel hurt or you will get angry. There can be a cause to that. If you do not want to ruin your relationship just because of your pain, you have to look for the cause of that behavior. You will then have to address that and provide solution.

Be sure to understand the idea of personal boundaries between couples. Do not just respect the personal boundaries of your partner, you should also hold yours. You and your partner should make your personal boundaries clear, together with the negotiable gray areas, since these are part of a healthy relationship. Show respect to that.

Being in a heated argument is natural. Being partners does not mean that the two of you should have the same mindset. If the two of you are in an argument, you should do your best to not let out insulting words against your partner. You should never insult them, call them names, or label them. You will not be able to take them back later.

Your partner might be the one giving the insults though. In such situations, you should think about why your partner has said that. It might just be because your partner feels like you are not doing enough. You better convert the words your partner makes into the words that are really being said in that argument.

Conflicts are inevitable when you are with a partner. It does not matter how long you two have been together or how comfortable you are with each other, there will always be a reason for a fight. If you ever get into a fight, the two of you should decide on what conflict resolution method you will use to make up.




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