"Emotion can be the enemy. If you give in to your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions because the body always follows the mind." -Bruce Lee
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
Remember the old wise-saying, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" Emotions are the epitome of that expression.
Science has proven that when left untamed, our basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to kill first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is known as Flight or Fight Response.
Flight or Fight Response applies to more than physical situations. Emotions gone wild will have you shouting, crying, or making incorrect assumptions. All of this is done in the name of survival.
Initially, your body responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Think about that.
If emotions are supposed to be our friends, then why do they frequently leave us in a barrel of trouble? The answer is simple.
We are designed for survival, not diplomacy.
For countless generations, the emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, has been doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to make things much complex.
Now a person knows that if he or she doesn't want to deal with the consequences of doing physical harm to someone else, an insulting remark will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, your emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and Flight or Fight Response kicks in.
If you aren't careful, in 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions flood your system creating what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking. Your emotions could become your enemies.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
But at the office an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. In a negotiation it might cost you the deal. In an argument it might cost you a relationship.
Therefore the age-old advice about counting to ten before you respond has an equal amount of science and common sense behind it. It gives you a chance to use your logical brain.
So, the next time you feel a wave of emotions crashing down on your system, pause and do your best access your neocortex-the logical brain. Joshua Freeman-leading Emotional Intelligence expert-calls it the "six second pause."
For most of us, it's probably even better to take the four additional seconds just to be sure. Because it can be so costly, impulsive behavior is nothing to play with.
When I was growing up my mom used to always say to me, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
Emotions are arguably the most powerful force governing our behavior. Emotions are the guardians of your well-being. They are your friends and their primary objective is to ensure survival.
Remember the old wise-saying, "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" Emotions are the epitome of that expression.
Science has proven that when left untamed, our basic emotions (anger, joy, disgust, surprise, distress, and fear) would cause you to kill first and ask questions later. Or run first and ask questions later. This is known as Flight or Fight Response.
Flight or Fight Response applies to more than physical situations. Emotions gone wild will have you shouting, crying, or making incorrect assumptions. All of this is done in the name of survival.
Initially, your body responds to a psychological attack (i.e. insults) in the same manner it would a physical threat. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Think about that.
If emotions are supposed to be our friends, then why do they frequently leave us in a barrel of trouble? The answer is simple.
We are designed for survival, not diplomacy.
For countless generations, the emotional brain, also known as the limbic system, has been doing what it does best: keeping us out of harms way. Then along comes the neocortex, the logical brain, to make things much complex.
Now a person knows that if he or she doesn't want to deal with the consequences of doing physical harm to someone else, an insulting remark will often do the trick. Although it's not a physical attack, your emotional brain still recognizes the bad intentions and Flight or Fight Response kicks in.
If you aren't careful, in 3-5 seconds for the chemicals that produce emotions flood your system creating what is often referred to as an emotional hijacking. Your emotions could become your enemies.
In life and death situations that call for immediate action an emotional hijacking might save your life. (Think about jumping out of the way of a moving car.)
But at the office an emotional hijacking might cost you your job. In a negotiation it might cost you the deal. In an argument it might cost you a relationship.
Therefore the age-old advice about counting to ten before you respond has an equal amount of science and common sense behind it. It gives you a chance to use your logical brain.
So, the next time you feel a wave of emotions crashing down on your system, pause and do your best access your neocortex-the logical brain. Joshua Freeman-leading Emotional Intelligence expert-calls it the "six second pause."
For most of us, it's probably even better to take the four additional seconds just to be sure. Because it can be so costly, impulsive behavior is nothing to play with.
When I was growing up my mom used to always say to me, "Al, don't let your friends get you in trouble."
Mom, you never told me that you were talking about my emotions.
About the Author:
Who else is looking for a fun, engaging and inspiring motivational speaker for at-risk youth? Then visit his site to find out about how Al Duncan, one of the world's leading motivational speakers for at-risk youth can help students build a competitive advantage in the 21st Century.
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