Divorce And Grief Counseling Kansas City; Leading Counselor Outlines The Stages Of Grief Allied With Divorce

By Sharon Long


To the disbelief of many, the divorce process is bound to leave you grieving from ambiguous loss. The kind of pain you will go through is not so different what is typically experienced after the passing on of a loved one. Unfortunately, you are almost guaranteed of grieving, irrespective of whether your marriage was a complete nightmare or a bed of roses. If you feel the need to receive divorce and grief counseling Kansas City is a good place to begin research for an ideal therapist.

Most people will first get into the denial phase. This involves literally being in shock and not believing that your marriage has ended. Even those that see divorce coming will in most cases still go through the denial stage. The length of this phase may even so depend on whether you saw your marriage coming to an end or not.

After denial comes the pain and fear stage. It is common for couples to feel hurt in more than a few distinct ways. For instance, you may feel hurt and afraid of the changes that are bound to take place monetarily and emotionally. Unfortunately, not even counseling or time can promise you that all the pain will eventually go away. On the bright side, it is the pain that motivates you to do something to get out of your present predicaments.

The phase that follows is the anger stage. At this point, just about everything will make you angry including the warning signs you saw before marriage and ignored. You will also be angry about the frustrations you silently went through during marriage. Most couples will also be angry that their mess will affect their children.

It is natural for someone to at this point decide to save the dying marriage. This is known as the bargaining phase and it involves giving promises and promising change. Because of all the desperation, you are likely to end up giving unrealistic promises. Unfortunately, bargaining does not always work and you will need to again focus on your future.

The guilt phase then kicks in and this where you think about all the things you would have done different. In some cases, the turn of events can be blamed on both spouses. You should therefore take it easy on yourself to get rid of that feeling of carrying around a hundred pounds wrapped around your ankles. Any therapist will tell you for free that you need to get over the guilty feeling for you to move on.

During and after a divorce, it is common for individuals to get depressed. They will reminisce on the hardships that come with being divorced and will even hold a lot of pain, anger and regret in their hearts. All the emotional torment that takes place during this stage is what drives most people to seek therapy.

The final stage involves acceptance. This comes like a breath of fresh air and you finally accept what happened and begin to forge forward. Acceptance often takes place when the body becomes tired of grieving and develops a reliable coping mechanism.




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