Hey, I've just got a quick note for you today on a subject that a lot of guys are curious about: How to talk to women. There's a lot of cool information I teach you, from routines to openers, conversation bridges, all kinds of great stuff to inject into your interactions with women. But in almost every single one-on-one coaching (and in hundreds of emails I get every day), one concern stands out more than any other.
It just feels hard, not easy at all and when that happens, you end up repelling women way more often than you will attract them. And if you make it a habit to repel women, where does that really get you?
I'd finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman. - "Hey, my name is Carlos..." And after I got the conversation started - WHAM. I'd get nervous when I couldn't remember any of the stuff I'd memorized. - Do I say that thing about "who lies more"? Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the other day...? I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then and now I totally lost it. And I'd stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to her.How to talk to women You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips, but now you're sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your mouth.
Finally she says, "Uh, I gotta get back to my friends..." And then, as she's walking away, and you're kicking yourself... You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said. Too late.Here's a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE all the cool stuff I had memorized when learning how to talk to women. I'm not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else's words! You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk with women about. No fake stories or lying. You don't need to make stuff up or use someone else's words to be interesting to women.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
A conversational bridge is a way of bringing up a topic that you want to steer the conversation towards. Let's say you know you want to talk about your passions and interests with a woman, and you've thought of a great way to bring it up and talk about it. And, let's say your passion is photography.You have a couple ways you could bring it up in conversation, like: "You know, I was just thinking as I'm looking at you that you would make a fantastic subject for photography. Have you ever thought about doing a sitting?" You could also bring it up without focusing on her by saying:
"I was out scouting locations for some photos today. The light here is really fantastic for bringing out skin tones and eye color. Isn't it great?" Okay, so now we've got a couple ways to bring up our interests in conversation, without bragging AND at the same time communicating to a woman that you've got a hobby in your life that brings out your passion.Maybe you've got some great questions to ask, and things to say that you think of when you're at home, but now you need to have it ready all the time, like a loaded gun. You want to be able to come up with this when you're out and about, but you find yourself constantly forgetting it when the pressure is on.How to talk to women - STEP 2: ENGAGE YOUR MODALITIES Modalities are simply your senses. Sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. The more of your senses you use, the quicker things are embedded in your mind. So you want to spend some time before you go out writing these words down, whether it's the questions you want to ask, or just a list of topics you want to bring up in conversation.
Then you want to spend some time saying the words out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also engages your "auditory" modality. And you also want to spend some time reviewing things on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit to memory. This will engage your "visual" modality.But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step to make this work, and it's something that not many guys know about. I've got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.How to talk to women - STEP 3: ENGAGE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL" TECHNIQUE Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.
The problem most men have when talking to women is that they try way too hard not to make mistakes. They don't want to say the wrong thing. They don't want to make a wrong impression. They fear rejection. They believe that they don't know what to say when it comes to women. None of this is true. The biggest thing that gets between men and women talking is what's going on between your left ear and your right ear.
That's right, it wasn't the information you were learning as much as giving your brain a LOCATION for that information. It's called "spatial relationship," and it's how your mind stores information. It's more important to give a RELATIONSHIP to the information to make it stick. Like right now, if you close your eyes, chances are you can recall where almost everything is in your bedroom, or another room in your apartment that you are very familiar with.So here's how you use this "Situational Rehearsal" technique. It's based on the way your brain really learns. And you'll get at least 10 times better retention and recall of information if you use it... In my previous example, you came up with a great way to talk about photography, your passion. And you came up with a great way to actually SAY it to a woman. You may even have some of my "Power Questions" that you want to memorize to use.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
When a conversation is too boring or too mundane, there is little chance that you are really going to be able to spark some attraction, which is necessary if you are going to be able to get a date with her. Being able to take the conversation in a direction so that it becomes flirtatious is something that you need to be able to do. If you can't flirt, then you have to learn how to because flirting is a necessary skill that you need to have when you make conversation with a woman.
It just feels hard, not easy at all and when that happens, you end up repelling women way more often than you will attract them. And if you make it a habit to repel women, where does that really get you?
I'd finally get past my approach anxiety and start talking with a woman. - "Hey, my name is Carlos..." And after I got the conversation started - WHAM. I'd get nervous when I couldn't remember any of the stuff I'd memorized. - Do I say that thing about "who lies more"? Or do I tease her? What was that great teasing line I thought of the other day...? I mean, I thought I knew it cold when I left the house, but between then and now I totally lost it. And I'd stand there like a deer in the headlights, no idea what to say to her.How to talk to women You thought you were all prepared after reading all my cool advice and tips, but now you're sitting in that uncomfortable silence while she stares at you, waiting for SOMETHING to come out of your mouth.
Finally she says, "Uh, I gotta get back to my friends..." And then, as she's walking away, and you're kicking yourself... You suddenly come up with the PERFECT thing you should have said. Too late.Here's a technique I used to use to make sure I was really prepared to USE all the cool stuff I had memorized when learning how to talk to women. I'm not advising you to learn and rehearse someone else's words! You should ONLY be coming up with things of your own that are TRUE to talk with women about. No fake stories or lying. You don't need to make stuff up or use someone else's words to be interesting to women.
"It's not so much what he talks about," Angelica continued. She was hot and she knew it, but she was really down to earth, not as rare a find in Los Angeles if you know where and how to look, but I digress. "It's important to me that he's comfortable in his own skin and that he has his own mind. I don't want a guy agreeing with me just for the sake of agreeing with me.
A conversational bridge is a way of bringing up a topic that you want to steer the conversation towards. Let's say you know you want to talk about your passions and interests with a woman, and you've thought of a great way to bring it up and talk about it. And, let's say your passion is photography.You have a couple ways you could bring it up in conversation, like: "You know, I was just thinking as I'm looking at you that you would make a fantastic subject for photography. Have you ever thought about doing a sitting?" You could also bring it up without focusing on her by saying:
"I was out scouting locations for some photos today. The light here is really fantastic for bringing out skin tones and eye color. Isn't it great?" Okay, so now we've got a couple ways to bring up our interests in conversation, without bragging AND at the same time communicating to a woman that you've got a hobby in your life that brings out your passion.Maybe you've got some great questions to ask, and things to say that you think of when you're at home, but now you need to have it ready all the time, like a loaded gun. You want to be able to come up with this when you're out and about, but you find yourself constantly forgetting it when the pressure is on.How to talk to women - STEP 2: ENGAGE YOUR MODALITIES Modalities are simply your senses. Sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. The more of your senses you use, the quicker things are embedded in your mind. So you want to spend some time before you go out writing these words down, whether it's the questions you want to ask, or just a list of topics you want to bring up in conversation.
Then you want to spend some time saying the words out loud. This will help you rehearse and say things smoothly, and it also engages your "auditory" modality. And you also want to spend some time reviewing things on paper. Read and re-read the phrases and information you want to commit to memory. This will engage your "visual" modality.But even this is not enough for most of us. You need ONE extra simple step to make this work, and it's something that not many guys know about. I've got a special method that increases your results about 1000%.How to talk to women - STEP 3: ENGAGE "SITUATIONAL REHEARSAL" TECHNIQUE Back when I was in high school, I used to have a good method of learning material I needed for tests. You probably did, too.
The problem most men have when talking to women is that they try way too hard not to make mistakes. They don't want to say the wrong thing. They don't want to make a wrong impression. They fear rejection. They believe that they don't know what to say when it comes to women. None of this is true. The biggest thing that gets between men and women talking is what's going on between your left ear and your right ear.
That's right, it wasn't the information you were learning as much as giving your brain a LOCATION for that information. It's called "spatial relationship," and it's how your mind stores information. It's more important to give a RELATIONSHIP to the information to make it stick. Like right now, if you close your eyes, chances are you can recall where almost everything is in your bedroom, or another room in your apartment that you are very familiar with.So here's how you use this "Situational Rehearsal" technique. It's based on the way your brain really learns. And you'll get at least 10 times better retention and recall of information if you use it... In my previous example, you came up with a great way to talk about photography, your passion. And you came up with a great way to actually SAY it to a woman. You may even have some of my "Power Questions" that you want to memorize to use.
Now you have to practice recalling these things in MANY different locations, and in many different situations. You would want to do stuff like:But if you REALLY want to improve by leaps and bounds in your inner and outer game of conversation, here's a KILLER bonus technique:Put a bluetooth headset on (or any cell phone earpiece so it looks like you're talking on your phone). Then, go out and recite what it is you're memorizing when you're out in public on a city street or in a store. Don't worry, other people will just assume you're talking to someone on your cell phone. But this method will help you get over your fear of looking foolish in front of other people. AND it gives you a killer rehearsal for saying it in front of a woman. You get your shyness out of the way, and you build confidence in the process.
When a conversation is too boring or too mundane, there is little chance that you are really going to be able to spark some attraction, which is necessary if you are going to be able to get a date with her. Being able to take the conversation in a direction so that it becomes flirtatious is something that you need to be able to do. If you can't flirt, then you have to learn how to because flirting is a necessary skill that you need to have when you make conversation with a woman.
About the Author:
Read more about How To Talk To Women , and also watch out on How To Talk To Girls for your needs.
No comments:
Post a Comment